A woman and a man in white clothes hugging each other on a white bed smiling.

How To Talk To A Male Partner About His Sexual Insecurities

Below’s a guide on how you can talk to your male partner about his sexual insecurities

Sex is a natural way to build a bond with your partner. It’s every couple's goal to enjoy their intimacy and have a good sex life. In most cases, particularly among men, sexual insecurities arouse anxiety that can affect your partner's performance in bed. Male sexual insecurities may include penis size, genital skin conditions, failure to get to orgasm, or inability to hold an erection, among others.

The best you can do to a partner with sexual insecurities is talk to them. Making them feel comfortable and appreciated goes a long way. However, it would help if you were subtle about it. Below’s a guide on how you can talk to your male partner about his sexual insecurities.

1. Mention Treatment Options

If the insecurity concerns genital conditions such as Pearly Penile Papules (PPP), herpes, warts, yeast infection, and balanitis, it’d be best to seek treatment. Most men would rather suffer in silence than talk to a medic about their condition. The truth of the matter is that most genital conditions are uncomfortable. They get itchy and painful. The only way to deal with it is to get medical attention and appropriate treatment.

For instance, PPP treatment options can vary. They include home treatment, electrosurgery, and laser treatment. It’s best to consult a specialist who can advise you on the best treatment option for your case. 

2. Be Sensitive To Avoid Hurting Their Feelings

It’s essential to mind your partner's feelings when talking about sexual insecurities. Instead of talking them down and lowering their self-esteem, it’s best to help them practice mindfulness. This way, they can enjoy the moment.

One reason the insecurities could weigh your partner down could come about from how you react toward their performance. Hence, explaining it carefully and expressing your worry about your partner’s insecurities can help address the problem. Remember to be sensitive about their feelings and use caution to avoid hurting them.

3. Get Creative In Bed

One way to handle insecurities is by getting creative. For instance, if your partner has body image issues, you can suggest being intimate in the dark. This may help them not concentrate on their image and enjoy the moment.

Three people talking in a bed store
You can book an appointment with a sex coach | Aiko de Guzman

You can make the sex kinky and deter insecurities by introducing blindfolds. Remember, sex begins with kissing and touching. Getting sensational about it takes the insecurities away. If your partner needs more time, include role play and introduce sex toys to get them there. You can also start with a massage to set the mood. Such factors come in handy, and you can end up with a steamy session. 

4. Don’t Talk About The Insecurities During Sex

It can be helpful to talk about insecurities, but not during sex. If you talk about them a few minutes into it, your partner will be too concentrated on doing it right, so they might not enjoy it. Minutes before sex can make them vulnerable and become a major turn-off. Thus, the best time to talk about it is when there’s no chance to get into his pants. Don’t bring up the issues in your bedroom. It may help if you go for a walk or do it while watching a movie and cuddling on the couch.  

5. Give Positive Affirmations

You can talk your partner out of the insecurities by giving positive affirmations. Men like appreciation and praise. You can save the day by assuring them they’re doing it right. Moreover, you can express how you enjoy the moment during your intimacy period.  

You can also initiate the convo with positive affirmations, such as how you enjoyed the last session. It eases your partner into discussing other matters. Then you can have a candid conversation about the insecurities. Remember overcoming insecurities is a gradual process. Mentioning the positives is an excellent way to break the ice. 

6. Understand Their Limits

Don’t be so fixated on orgasm that you forget all about pleasure. It’s a different experience for everyone. Understand your partner's limits, and don’t bring unrealistic ideas to the table. For instance, male partners with erectile dysfunction can’t maintain an erection. You can make the situation worse when you want several rounds. In such a case, it’d help to give your partner ample time to rest and pick it up when he’s ready. This way, you can avoid hurting their ego.

Focus more on connection and sensation rather than duration. Male sexual performance anxiety can significantly affect their sex life. Therefore, it’s best to understand how far your partner can go.

7. Suggest Help From A Sex Coach

The insecurities can take a toll on your sex life. If you’ve explored all avenues and can’t help the situation, it’s helpful to talk to a sex coach. Their insights come in handy on how to enjoy your intimate sessions. You can book an appointment with a sex coach. They can guide you on the best way to talk to your partner, especially if the insecurities negatively affect your partner’s morale.


Talking to your male partner about their sexual insecurities can be the first step to having your sex life in order. Approaching the matter sensitively is the best shot you have at it. Consider their emotions and feelings about the matter. Most importantly, give positive remarks as it boosts their ego. If the problem can be treated, encourage them to seek medical assistance. Be patient, as it's a gradual process.