Anal Sex: The First Time

Anal sex can be very pleasant and not painful at all if performed according to the steps on how to prepare for anal sex that are explained below.

Although anal sex may seem painful and complicated to do, there are some very useful tips that can make this experience one of the most pleasurable in the world. This type of sex has many benefits that make those who practice it feel calm and relaxed.

In this article, we explain what anal sex is, some types, as well as how to practice it and some easy postures to find out how to have anal sex.

What is anal sex?

Anal sex is a type of sexual practice in which the penis, or sex toy, is introduced into the person's anus. Since ancient Greece, this practice was widely performed and was known as 'coitus a tergo' because the other person adopts a submissive posture.

However, in Roman times anal sex was forbidden unless it was done with a slave. In the Middle Ages, this practice was considered taboo and heresy and was condemned by many religions.

Although anal sex is still taboo nowadays, it is one of the most common ways of having sex regardless of the sexual orientation of those who practice it.

Anal sex can be very pleasant. The person who receives it can even have an orgasm through the stimulation of some erogenous zones, such as the prostate and clitoris.

However, it is extremely important to include foreplay so that the anal muscles relax. Oral stimulation of the anus and rectum, known as 'anilingus', is another good way to help relax the area.

Like vaginal sex, performing this type of sexual intercourse has many benefits on our body. Some of them are:

  • It is an analgesic
  • Has exhilarating properties
  • Has an anxiolytic effect
  • Reduces stress
  • Increases estrogen levels
  • Balances blood pressure
  • Stimulates some nerves

Anal sex types

There are different varieties of anal sex that involve some kind of stimulation of the anus. Some of the most popular ones are:

1. Fisting

Fisting is a type of anal sex in which the sexual partner inserts a fist into the anus of the other participant. It is a very dangerous practice because it can cause multiple tears in the rectum that are very painful and can bleed. This increases the risk of contracting sexually transmitted infections and other diseases.

2. Klismaphilia, andromimetophilia, and gynemimetophilia

Klismaphilia, andromimetophilia, and gynemimetophilia are sexual paraphilias related to the anus. In the first one, the person gets sexual pleasure from receiving fluid in the rectum. Regarding the last two, the sexual roles of the woman and the man are exchanged. Therefore, the woman penetrates the man, which is done through a prosthesis that is attached and placed in the woman's pubis.

3. Double penetration

Double penetration involves 3 people in sexual intercourse or 2 people plus a sex toy. In this practice, the woman is penetrated through both anal and vaginal orifices, although it can also be done through the same orifice. This type of anal sex is also dangerous and can lead to infections if the necessary hygienic and prophylactic measures are not taken.

Una pareja cubriéndose la cara con el edredón de la cama
Anal sex can be very pleasant for all participants if done properly | Getty Images

How to have anal sex

Whether you have anal sex on a regular basis and need more up-to-date information on how to innovate and get some other useful advice, or  if you want to have anal sex for the first time, below you will find the basic steps and some tips.

It is important to keep in mind that the first and last steps are essential to get safe sexual satisfaction, as well as to avoid having a bad experience.

1. Security and hygiene

Although anal sex is often performed as an alternative to vaginal penetration, since there is no risk of pregnancy, it can entail other types of dangers.

First of all, it is important to always use condoms because the rectum is a very sensitive area and prone to developing frequent infections, as well as internal lesions and bleeding that can end in sexually transmitted infections.

Also, even if a condom is used, rectal and penis (or sex toy) hygiene before anal sex is extremely important. In some cases, enemas are also recommended to clean the rectal area thoroughly to ensure maximum hygiene.

2. Stimulation and relaxation of the rectum

Once the first step is under control, we can move to the next phase prior to penetration. Anal sex requires several necessary key steps before starting the sexual intercourse to provide a really pleasant practice and avoid tears, pain, and stimulations that are not satisfying for the person.

Through anal masturbation, we can relax the area and thus also intensify a future orgasm.

First, it is important to touch the anus gently and delicately as well as licking it with the tongue for more pleasure. It is also necessary to do it slowly and always respecting what the other person wants.

It can also be alternated with masturbation of the partner's genitals so that both participants enjoy and then perform the next step.

3. Anal lubrication

Once we see that the anus is relaxed and the person feels safe and ready, we will lubricate the area using lubricants, for the anus does not do so naturally.

When the anus is lubricated, the partner should make it relax more gradually. The best way to do it is introducing the pinky finger and do small circular and soft movements and later to introduce another finger, then another one, and so on until the anus is dilated.

It is highly recommended to use some kind of sex toy or dildo exclusively for anal sex  to help dilate the anus more if the person still does not feel completely relaxed.

4. How to prevent painful anal sex

If the previous phases are performed correctly and at the right moment, pain will not be part of anal sex. Also, the first experiences are not usually as pleasant as expected. Practice and self-knowledge are key when it comes to enjoying anal sex.

As mentioned above, relaxation is essential to avoid pain. It is also important that the person feels confident and is not tense, as well as to breathe and communicate with their partner whenever they feel uncomfortable.

Pace and depth are also two essential elements that will determine painful or pleasurable anal sex. Obviously, penetration can't be too quick and too deep. Doing it slowly and gradually and then intensify the pace as the other person is feeling better and the muscles relax is the proper way to do it.

5. More preventive measures

If after having anal sex —or before— we want to have vaginal sex it is essential to change the condom and get a new one as well as to change the sex toy we've been using to avoid serious infections.

Finally, when the sexual intercourse is done, the person who has been penetrated has to go to the toilet and try to expel any accumulated liquid or substance and also clean the area.

It is always recommended to do it with water and neutral soaps. If this is not possible, it can also be done with alcohol-free wipes. The other person who participated in anal sex should follow the same procedure.


Because the rectum absorbs all substances that are introduced into it, it is an area very prone to infections, some being sexually transmitted such as the following:

Wounds, injuries, tears, and internal bleeding in the rectum can also occur if performed very abruptly and without prior relaxation of the anal muscles. These hemorrhages can lead to other types of very dangerous diseases and infections if a condom is not used and the necessary hygiene measures are not carried out either before or after practicing it. It is important to bear in mind that all the participants should take these measures into account, as well as making sure that the sex toys are properly clean.

3 anal sex positions

Although the most common anal sex position is the doggy style, there are many more that can also be satisfying. The more experience, the better. Below is a description of the 3 most common positions.

1. Doggy style

Also called 'coitus a tergo'. In this posture the person who is going to be penetrated is placed face down, leaning on hands and knees. Then, the other person stands behind, grasping at the hips, and introduces the penis into the anus.

2. Spoon position

In this second position, the two participants are placed on their sides, lying on a flat surface, with one's chest against the other's back. The person who is going to penetrate is the outer spoon. The one who is penetrated is the inner spoon and can open the legs a little to facilitate penetration.

3. Back swinging

This position is very similar to the previous one, but with the difference that the person who is going to be penetrated is placed lying face down while the other is placed stretched over the person and penetrates from behind.