Tantric Sex: Definition Of Tantra, Tips And Positions

Tantric sex is a way of understanding and knowing human existence based on the feeling of physical sensations.

Enjoying sex and your partner has never been such a pleasurable and connective experience. Tantric sex, based on Tantra philosophy, promotes to get to be one with your partner and the sexual energy that you give off while you have sexual intercourse.

If you want to know what is tantric sex, or what main tips and positions we have to do to practice this kind of sex, continue reading this article.

What is tantric sex?

Tantric sex is a way of having intercourse based on the philosophy of Tantra. In Sanskrit, this word means secret and they refer to some kind of Buddhist and Hindu religious mantras and rituals, in which the god Shiva of nature, totality, and chaos explains what the tantric ritual consists of.

This way of having sex promotes it to be conscious, as a way of enhancing human sensitivity and focusing the energy of both people that are having sex as one, searching for satisfaction for both. Choosing this kind of sex as a new option can be the right decision if you want to:

  • Break out of the routine and do something new in bed
  • Intimate a lot more with your partner and get to know yourself better
  • Reconnect sexually and emotionally with your partner

This philosophy believes that everyone can boost our sexual energy to make both of us get to the climax.

Tantra carries out some sexual techniques to extend the rhythm of pleasure and in the same way, to postpone the orgasm and to further promote satisfaction.

According to Tantra, no member of the relationship is superior to the other, just as there is no such thing as purity or impurity, beauty or ugliness, etc. In tantric sex, it is considered that the act of ejaculating involves the waste of sexual energy and therefore what it preaches to people who want to practice it is to experience the dry orgasm, that is to say, without ejaculation.

Is it only something sexual?

As we have seen in its definition, Tantra is not only a matter of having sex. For its followers, it is a kind of ancient knowledge that aims to bring the person closer to the divine through self-knowledge and detachment from the ego.

A lot of people only associate tantric sex as a measure to postpone the orgasm or to be able to maintain sexual relationships for a long period of time without ejaculating and therefore, last longer. However, these two statements are only consequences of carrying out tantrism. 

To sum up, this philosophy implies sex as a primary way of expanding energy, but it especially emphasizes what is related to one's own soul and the one of the other person.

It implies, in general, to be able to merge with yourself and with your partner in a complete whole, not only physically but also emotionally, that is to say, a way of understanding and knowing the human existence from the feeling of the physical sensations.

Palacio hindú durante el atardecer
Tantric sex is based on ancient Hindu and Buddhist traditions. | pixabay: kafleg

Tips for tantric sex

Although the philosophy seems very complicated, practicing it is easier. The main advice is not to think only about getting to the orgasm but to enjoy and focus on all the intercourse preliminary games, so you understand the sexual intercourse as something natural. 

To be able to postpone the orgasm, the experts on this philosophy carry out different methods and techniques that include the control of breathing, meditation, and even massages. However, here you have some previous basic tips to put us in context when it comes to tantric sex:

1. Keep an open mind

The main thing when it comes to carrying out the tantric sexual intercourse is having sex without taboos, opening the mind to be able to experience new sensations  and above all to leave the prejudices and the myths out.

Allowing ourselves to live new experiences and accepting them in an open and non-skeptic way will help us enjoy everything more, better, and for longer.

2. Find an intimate space

Start by switching off the lights. The important thing is to find or design a comfort zone for both of you. Decorate it as you like with candles, flowers, and clothes, so it is cozier. Aroma and music are also important in tantric sex. You can put incense or some jasmine or rose oil...

3. Choose a different place other than the bed

In the beginning, to avoid the typical monotonous sexual intercourse, start in an area that is far from the bed, such as the floor, the sofa, some chairs, etc. Try putting a blanket on the floor with some cushions to do it even cozier.

4. Try to mentally and physically relax

Relaxation is an essential element to practice tantric sex. You have to feel comfortable and stop thinking about the outside, focusing on the here and now of the moment. 

Tantra consists of moving energy around the body, and for that, you have to be relaxed. Promoting physical relaxation is important, so before starting, move and shake extremities to energize and free the body.

5. Try to experiment

Experimenting is also an important point. Try to touch the other person differently using firm massages or gentle caresses. The goal is to stop thinking  and let yourself go to increase the senses slowly and intensely.

Learning the philosophy of tantric sex and performing it correctly can help to prolong intercourse and the pleasure experienced for hours.

6. Breathe harmoniously

Breathing in a coordinated way with your partner is the easiest way of achieving understanding and a real synchronization feeling with them.

Becoming aware of breathing is one of the principles of tantric yoga and Tantra. Feeling that you are in tune with someone is one of the most beautiful experiences that exists, and even more if you share such an intimate moment.

7. Keep your eyes open

Keeping your eyes wide open will help to keep contact and intimacy. The deep connection that can be established through eye contact is truly beautiful, and witnessing the whole process first hand with your eyes is transformative.

However, it is important not to take that advice as an imposed rule but as a kind of intention to be taken into account during the act. All the things you can discover can be incredible and also realizing that it is not something as easy as it seems.

Positions: How to do it

As time goes by and with practice, everything will be more fluid and natural. The important thing is not only to learn how to control orgasms or postpone the climax, but to find oneself and the other person at that moment, discover, feel, and enjoy constantly. 

In the following lines we propose some exercises and positions to practice tantric sex:

1. Connect by breathing

For this first exercise, you should be one in front of the other and looking at each other in the eyes, putting your left hand on the other person's heart  and trying to equalize the rhythm of the other person's breathing for at least 3 minutes. Little by little the heartbeat will also be synchronized.

2. Sit down face-to-face

If you can, sit down face-to-face one on top of the other and embrace each other, pressing your bodies against each other so you can feel your bodies. You can start wearing some clothes and then try it completely naked, only hugging each other as long as you feel like it.

This skin-to-skin contact is very important in tantric sex, it allows us to ensure the connection between the couple and promotes greater feelings of intimacy between the two.

3. Move slowly

To be able to postpone the orgasm it is important to carry out each movement very slowly and gradually, as well as continuing with a coordinated breathing during sexual intercourse. In this case it may help not to first perform the positions in which you know you easily reach the climax.

In general, the goal should be to work together for both of you to gradually accumulate sexual pleasure and energy. The slower everything is, the more feelings and sensations will accumulate, and finally, the more intense and pleasant the orgasm will be.


Biernacki, L. (2006). Sex Talk and Gender Rites: Women and the Tantric Sex Rite. International Journal of Hindu Studies, 10(2):187–208. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11407-006-9022-4